can they tell me.

a pair of eyes,tells me everything;
am i breathing just for wasting.
they tell me to stop this crap;
go on,move on,forget the past.
it just keep killing me everynight,
when i close my eyes,it keep haunting me.
i tried to forget the past;but i'm failed to do.
everything i do,every stars i counted,it never ends.
keeps telling me to never gave up even i'm alone against the world.
they tell me,that she will never be on my side.to fight the cancer.
i will be alone fight it till the end.
every smiles,every looked,every words and every touches;
makes me live in another world.makes me realize what may worth i'm fighting for.
even no one understands me.no one on my back.while everyone keep saying to me to forget her.
is she does know what play around my head?is she know every single test i had everday.every dangerous thing i through.or she will know it if there is no blood drop,or no more breath through my black lungs?
am i gonna ends with a terrible "death".am i just living with lies.or am i gonna find it?
can they tell me?can she?