this is the sound of dying

i'm fucked up with those bullshit i ever heard,i ever felt,i ever seen.my whole life was built with lots of fucking depressions till i get those serious shit on my head.i hope there were sumthing fucking horrible,but it just a tiny one.i'm not giving up this life.called me ungrateful person but i know how to appreciate life.it just a pieces of shit can't make stop thinking.i swear losing memory or death can stop me from thinking.24/7 i can't stop thinking,it makes me go crazy.i've been trying,but i'm failed.god,why don't anyone understand.people said that i'm not understand my own problems,myself.or i'm just wasting my time thinking bout it.but who the fuck are they tried to understand.seriously,no one ever understand me,either people around me.i'm the only one who not likes to hide it but i can't let it out.sometimes i felt like i'm wasted.but it makes me remind that maybe one day i can prove to those people what am i going through rite now.i meant it,you will never understand it.and don't tried to make me shared it.i'll just let it been stuck on my head like tumor.am i not enjoying my life?i better enjoyed it by myself than with those people.greed people don't know how to appreciate,how to been loved.love are just a pieces of words for me nowdays.there are no meanings in this world anymore.they just fucked up.an advise for those people who always never appreciate the meanings of those fucking four letters,one day you will lose it forever and it will destroy you till you're goin down.well so long ghost.